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Project topics Journal of Engineering Research and Studies Essay Journal of Engineering Research and Studies E-ISSN0976-7916 Research Paper SEPARATION OF OIL AND PECTIN FROM ORANGE PEEL AND STUDY OF EFFECT OF pH OF EXTRACTING MEDIUM ON THE YIELD OF PECTIN Shekhar Pandharipande*a, Harshal Makodeb Address for Correspondence *a- Associate Professor, Department of Chemical Engineering, Laxminarayan Institute of Technology, Rashtrasant Tukdoji Maharaj Nagpur University, Bharat Nagar, Amravati Road, Nagpur,India. b B. Tech student, Department of Chemical Engineering, Laxminarayan Institute of Technology, Rashtrasant Tukdoji Maharaj Nagpur University, Bharat Nagar, Amravati Road, Nagpur, India. ABSTRACT An orange, specifically, the sweet orange (Citrus sinensis (L.)) is the most commonly grown tree fruit in the world. The present work addresses to the development of the part of the process needed for the extraction of value added products like orange oil and pectin from orange peel, which is the waste of orange juice processing industry. The outcome of the present work highlighted that the sweet orange peels are good source of orange oil and pectin and does have the potential to become important raw material for food processing industries. Two methods namely simple distillation leaching have been explored for separation of oil from peels. The remains of cake in this part is further treated for isolation of pectin. It is found from the experimental observations that the peel source, for extraction of pectin, when taken after extracting orange oil through simple distillation gives higher yield than leaching residue. It is concluded that the process in which orange oil is first extracted using technique of simple distillation followed by acid extraction of pectin is most suitable for industrial production for isolation of pectin. These results demonstrate the successful extraction of orange oil and pectin, providing potential benefits for  industrial extraction of pectin from an economic and environmental point of view. KEYWORDS orange peel, pectin extraction, orange essential oil 1.1 INTRODUCTION An orange, specifically, the sweet orange (Citrus  sinensis (L.)) is the most commonly grown tree fruit  in the world. Orange trees are widely cultivated in  tropical and subtropical climates for the sweet fruit,  which is peeled or cut (to avoid the bitter rind) and  eaten whole, or processed to extract orange juice,   also for the fragrant peel. Citrus fruits are at the top  not only in total production, but also in economic  value. The albedo is the main source of pectin. Pectin  includes all the esterified polygalacturonic acids at  different degree of neutralization. In the presence of  saccharine and small quantities of organic acids  (usually citric acid), pectins gelatinized, and this  property is exploited by the agrochemistry and  pharmaceutical industries for pectin isolation. Orange  essential oil is present in small ductless gland  contained in the peel of the orange fruits. The main  constituent of orange peel essential oil is d-limonen e  (present to the extent of at least 90 %), which is the  only hydrocarbon present. The d-limonene is  extracted from orange rinds or solids. The rinds and  pulp are sent to an evaporator and the d-limonene is  steamed out. It is widely known for its pleasant scent  and degreasing properties. d-limonene is currently  being used in many applications such as chlorinated  solvents replacements, hand cleaners and sewage  treatments. The orange processing industry can get a  complete makeover if due importance is given for  separation of useful ingredient from orange peel.  Researchers and Scientists have been working on the  separation of oil and pectin from orange peel and  reporting their findings in journals of repute. A brief  summary includes orange peel: organic waste or  energetic resource(1), Waste to wealth: Industrial raw  materials potential of peels of Nigerian sweet orange  (Citrus sinensis)(2), method of distilling a volatile  constituent from liquid mixture(3), Optimization of  pectin acid extraction from passion fruit peel  (Passiflora edulis flavicarpa) using response surface  methodology(4), Extraction and Qualitative Assessment of African Sweet Orange Seed Oil(5), JERS/Vol. III/ Issue II/April-June, 2012/06-09 Comparisons between different techniques for waterbased extraction of pectin from orange peels(6) , microwave-assisted Isolation of essential oil of  Cinnamomum iners Reinw. ex Bl.: Comparison with  Conventional hydrodistillation(7), Microwave-assisted  extraction of pectin from orange peel(8), microbial  production of pectin from Citrus peel(9), Optimization  of Pectin Extraction from Peel of Dragon Fruit  (Hylocereus polyrhizus)(10), Determining the Yield  and Quality of Pectin from Fresh Peel Pectin  Pomace(11) and Microbial Production of Pectin from  Citrus Peel(12) . The present work (13) explored the possibility of  separation of essential oils and pectin from the  orange peels. Nagpur is major orange producing  centre in the subcontinent and even recognised in the  name of oranges as, Orange city. 1.2 MATERIALS AND METHODS: The present work is divided into following parts: I. Separation of oil from peels. a) Using the method of simple distillation b) Using ethanol as solvent in the method of leaching II. Extraction of pectin from oil peels a) From fresh peels, the leftover b) From dried cake remained after simple distillation and leaching as in part I 1.2.1 Separation of oil from peels: Raw Material: The raw material taken under examination for the extraction of orange oil (d-limonene) and pectin is orange peel. Orange peels are removed from fresh oranges which are procured from local market and which were harvested in the month of December 2011 to January 2012. Methods: Simple distillation is employed for removal of essential oil from orange peel. Dried and fined ground orange peel powder is added with known quantity of water which is simple distilled off for approximately one hour. The solid remains of the residue are dried to obtain the dry cake. The distillate Journal of Engineering Research and Studies E-ISSN0976-7916 resulted in to two phases, oil and water. Two phases  are separated and orange oil is obtained. For 350 gm  of orange powder taken, 8 ml of oil and 126.3 gm of  dried cake is obtained. The method of leaching is also explored for removal  of oil from peels. 380 gm of fresh orange peel are extracted with 225 ml of ethanol. After adequate  contacting, two phases, solid and liquid are separated,  198 gm of wet slurry resulted into 150 gm of dry  cake. However oil could not be recovered following  this method. The dried cake obtained is further  treated for separation of pectin in next part of present  work.  1.2.2 Extraction of pectin from orange peels:  The objective of this part of work is extraction and  isolation of pectin from fresh orange peel sample and  the dry cake sample left after extraction of oil using  simple distillation as in part I. The objective includes  the study of the effect of pH of the medium on the  yield of pectin extracted. The process flow chart is as shown in the figure 1. Table no 1: Experimental observations of yield of pectin at different pH Fig no 1: Process flow chart for extraction of pectin from orange peel sample Citric acid in distilled water solutions of desired pH  values 1, 1.5, 2, 3, 4 and 5 are prepared. Orange peel samples weighing 10 gm each are dipped in to the  solution and heated at 800C for 10 minutes. After  cooling the solution, it is filtered using cloth filter  and Whatman filter paper under vacuum. Ethanol is  added to the filtered solution to facilitate filtration of  pectin. The solution is filtered using fine filter cloth  or centrifuge at 8000 rpm for 15 min at 100C to  separate jelly pectin which is dried under vacuum at  500C and -100 mmHg gauge for two hours. Dried  pectin is thus obtained. The observations are given in  table no 1.  Yield % of pectin is based on the gram of peel sample taken, and is calculated by formula as given below; Fig no 2: Pectin yield at different pH of extracting medium 1.2.2.1: Comparison of yield of pectin from the dry cake residue left after simple distillation and leaching: Same procedure is applied for separation of pectin in  this part of present work, as followed in part 1.2.2.the  observations are tabulated in table 2 pictorial  details output of process are depicted in fig 3. Table no 2: Experimental observations of  comparison of yield of pectin from the dry cake  residue left after simple distillation and leaching  where Ypec (%) is the extracted pectin yield in per cent (%), P is the amount of dry pectin in g and Bi is the initial amount of orange peel in gram. Results and discussion: The maximum yield of pectin is obtained at   extraction medium pH of 1. However negligible yield  is obtained at pH of 4 and 5 as can be seen from  graph plotted between pectin yield % obtained for  various values of pH of medium as shown in fig 2. JERS/Vol. III/ Issue II/April-June, 2012/06-09 Journal of Engineering Research and Studies Result and discussion: The yield of pectin obtained is highest in turbid  extract, but this might be due to some suspended  impurities present in the extract. The maximum  overall yield of the pectin is obtained from orange  peel residue sample through simple distillation. Therefore, in the process of orange oil and pectin  extraction from orange peel, it is recommended on  basis of results obtained, that to first extract oil using  simple distillation and then isolate pectin with acid  hydrolysis technique. 1.3 CONCLUSION Nagpur region is well known in central Asia as  largest orange producing region. It is also known as  the California of India, producing excellent quality  oranges in large number. Though it has great  production of oranges, the downstream processing  and value added product manufacturing technology is  not yet developed. The present work is dedicated for E-ISSN0976-7916 the development of the part of the process technology  needed for the extraction of value added products i.e.  orange oil and pectin from orange peel, which is the  waste of orange juice processing industry. The  present work revealed that the sweet orange peels are  good source of orange oil and pectin and does have  the potential to become important raw material for  food processing industries. It is found from the  experimentation that the peel source, for extraction of  pectin, when taken after extracting orange oil through  simple distillation gives higher yield than leaching  residue. So it can be concluded that the process in  which orange oil is first extracted using technique of  simple distillation followed by acid extraction of  pectin is most suitable for industrial production. These results demonstrate the successful extraction of  orange oil and pectin, providing potential benefits for  industrial extraction of pectin from an economic and  environmental point of view. Fig no 3: Pictorial presentation of the process for comparison of yield of pectin from the dry cake residue left after simple distillation and leaching Amboni. (2009). optimisation of pectin acid extraction REFERENCES 1. 2. 3. 4. Martà ­n M.A, Siles J.A.1, El Bari H, Chica A. F, Università © Ibn Tofail. Facultà © dos Sciences. Kenitra (Maroc) .(2008). Orange Peel: Organic Waste or Energetic Resource? Tobias I. Ndubuisi Ezejiofor, N. V. Eke, R. I. Okechukwu, R. N. Nwoguikpe and C. M. Duru. (2011) Waste to wealth: Industrial raw materials potential of peels of Nigerian sweet orange (Citrus sinensis). African Journal of Biotechnology Vol. 10(33), pp. 6257-6264. Gorden P. Gerow, Davenport, Fla.(1982). Method Of Distilling A Volatile Constituent From Liquid Mixture. United States Patent, 4,326,926. Erika Kliemann, Karina Nunes de Simas, Edna R. Amante, Elane Schwinden Prudeˆncio, Reinaldo F. Teo ´ filo, Ma ´ rcia M. C. Ferreira Renata D. M. C. JERS/Vol. III/ Issue II/April-June, 2012/06-09 5. 6. 7. from passion fruit peel (Passiflora edulis flavicarpa) using response surface methodology. International Journal of Food Science and Technology, 44, 476–483. Nwobi BE, Ofoegbu O O B Adesina. (2006). Extraction And Qualitative Assessment Of African Sweet Orange Seed Oil. African Journal of food agriculture nutrition and development. Vol. 6 ISSN 1684-5374. S. Yeoh, J. Shi, T.A.G. Langrish. (2008). Comparisons between different techniques for water-based extraction of pectin from orange peels. Elsevier, Desalination 218, 229–237. Weerachai Phutdhawong, Rungthip Kawaree, Samart Sanjaiya, Waya Sengpracha Duang Buddhasukh.(2007). Microwave-Assisted Isolation of Essential oil of innamomum iners Reinw. ex Bl.: Journal of Engineering Research and Studies Comparison with Conventional Hydrodistillation. Molecules ISSN 1420-3049 8. Zheng Jie, Yang Ting, Wu Qiang, Li Jing, Wang YaNa. (2009). Microwave-assisted Extraction of Pectin from Orange Peel. Vol. 30, No. 20, p. 134-137. 9. P.Y. Tang, C.J. Wong and K.K. Woo. (2011). Optimization of Pectin Extraction from Peel of Dragon Fruit (Hylocereus polyrhizus). Asian Journal of Biological Sciences, ISSN 1996-3351, Knowledgia Review, Malaysia, 4 (2): 189-195. 10. P. G. Crandall, R. J. Braddock, and A. H. Rouse. (1978). Determining The Yield And Quality Of Pectin From Fresh Peel And Pectin Pomace. Proc. Fla. State Hort. Soc. 91:109-111. 11. Takuo Sakai Minoru Okushima. (1998). Microbial Production of Pectin from Citrus Peel.Applied and Environmental Microbiology, Vol. 39, No. 4, p. 908912. 12. Harshal Makode (2012).Project report submitted for B Tech to Rashtrasant Tukadoji Maharaj Nagpur University,Nagpur. JERS/Vol. III/ Issue II/April-June, 2012/06-09 E-ISSN0976-7916

Due Process vs. Crime Control Model :: Criminal Justice

Due Process vs. Crime Control Model   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  The two models of crime that have been opposing each other for years are the due process model and the crime control model. The due process model is the principle that an individual cannot be deprived of life, liberty, or property without appropriate legal procedures and safeguards. ( Answers.Com) Any person that is charged with a crime is required to have their rights protected by the criminal justice system under the due process model. The crime control model for law enforcement is based on the assumption of absolute reliability of police fact-finding, treats arrestees as if they are already found guilty. (Crime control model) This paper will compare and contrast the role that the due process and crime control models have on shaping criminal procedure policy.   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Some of the differences between the due process model and the crime control model are in the due process model people that are arrested are perceived to be innocent until proven in a court of law. The crime control model believes that the people that are arrested are guilty and need to be punished by the government. Another difference with both models is the due process model believes that policing within the criminal justice system is essential to maintaining justice within society. The crime control model believes that the arresting of people in the criminal justice system has a negative effect and slows down the process of the criminal justice system. One more difference is the due process model believes in the rights of the defendants and proving their guilt is essential to keep the government in control. The crime control model believes that the rights of the defendant cost too much and the criminal justice system should be spending more money on recruiting p olice officers and building prisons.   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Although both models have some differences, they also have some similarities. The due process model and the crime control model both believe that the defense counsel’s job is to act as an advocate within the criminal justice system. Another similarity of both models is they both believe that criminals should be punished if they violated the law.   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  There seems to be more differences than similarities between the due process model and the crime control model.

Three really is a crowd

â€Å"Would you like some pretzels with your wine.† The airhostess said, I never drink when I fly but in this case I need a drink to steady my nerves I have called my old friend Lauren to see if she knows where nick is living now and I am in luck she had just seen nick. â€Å"How was he?† I asked impatiently â€Å"He was kind of distant, not his usual laid back self. Why are you asking about nick you never want to talk about him what has happened?† Lauren sounded concerned. I couldn't keep secrets from Lauren she was my oldest friend and my rock when things go wrong. I had to tell her so for the next half an hour I poured my heart out I told her everything about Pierre and nick and the engagement ring. † Well he sounded really upset now I know why, what are you going to do.† She sounded genuinely sorry for me. † I am just going to turn up at his flat and try to talk him round I love him Lauren, it has always been him I was happy with Pierre sure, but he was always in the back of my mind.† I am never one to pour out my heart but I couldn't help myself. Lauren offered me her spare bedroom to stay at her house, which is less than a mile away from nicks so it would be perfect. I wake up as I look out the window and can just see the sky through all the buildings there is a deep blue sky just like the day me and nick went on a weekend away the sky was like that all weekend I can't help but smile at all the good memories of me and nick. The time at the new years the night nick and me first got together ‘ I was all alone no one to kiss at midnight 4,3,2 I am going to look like such an idiot 1 nick suddenly appears from no where and kisses me a real kiss I had never been kissed the way he kissed me.' There it is that all to familiar feeling when I think of me and nick. Later that day I was in the local cafà ¯Ã‚ ¿Ã‚ ½, all of a sudden Lauren made excuses for herself and left quickly as I watched her leave my eyes wandered to the bar where nick was sitting I nearly spilled my coke I hadn't even noticed him come in. What should I do I didn't want to talk to him here and now I wanted to be alone with him I couldn't just chicken out not after giving up my relationship with Pierre and possibly my dream job. All of a sudden with out any notice nick turns his head he sees me I don't know what to do I end up sitting their like an idiot pretending not to notice him. To my surprise nick gets up and walks out. I nearly burst into tears I knew that I hurt nick but I didn't think he could not even bare to look at me anymore. When I get back to Laurens I tell her everything she has a great idea † How about I ring nick and ask him if he wants some company tonight you turn up instead of me and explain how you love him.† She was the best friend a girl could have I agreed to the idea. In the taxi on the way to nicks house I couldn't help but feel sick with nerves the way he had just blanked me as if he didn't even know me as if I meant nothing to him as if nothing had never happened between us I know I hurt him but he is the man I love, I would give up the whole world for him. It takes me what 10 to15 minuets to knock on the door suddenly my phone rings I open my bag in such a hurry everything falls out onto the floor. I hear the latch on the door turning I look up to see nick staring down at me, I wonder is he going to slam the door in my face but to my surprise he bends down and starts picking all the contents of my handbag up as he passes it to me our eyes meet he holds my glance I can't breath thinking what I have done to this man how I lied to him how I hurt him so much. † We better go inside.† He finally says he hands my bag to me and opens the door letting me in. why is he being so cool about all this, what happened today in the cafà ¯Ã‚ ¿Ã‚ ½? His flat is so nice his shinny leather sofa and his modern art that is so cool and laid back like himself, they say people's house tells you most things about them when nick came to my flat their were dark lies in all of Pierre's stuff. â€Å"Nick I am so sorry I came here to explain everything!† I sound desperate but I can't help it. â€Å"You hurt me.† † I know I was just starting to get my life on track after I left you and then you walk back into my life and my whole world turns upside down and with one look at you I fall completely head over heels in love with you.† Nick says nothing he just stares at the floor he can't even bare to look at me. â€Å"I didn't want to tell you about Pierre I knew it would wreck all our chances together.† † So you just lied to me, as if I meant nothing to you.† He sounds hurt â€Å"You know I don't think you are nothing I think you are everything. I would never intentionally hurt you.† A tear rolls down my cheek I suddenly realise how much I have hurt nick. â€Å"I should leave.† I go to get up and leave to my surprise nick jumps up he reaches for my arm to stop me â€Å"Why are you going?† He almost sounds desperate like I did earlier. † I don't know I don't see how I can undo what I have done and it is like a knife through my heart seeing the pain in your eyes the pain I have caused and it is in your eyes now as I try helplessly to try and explain what I have done to you.† I can hardly see nick through tears. Nick reaches up and wipes my tears away, why is he being so nice I don't understand. † I love you Sarah even if you lied and even if you left me to go to nice I will always love you.† † But can you forgive me?† Nick let's go of me he sits down on his cool leather sofa he puts his head in his hands. † Let me explain myself, you see I had left you behind it took me at least a year to get over you, then one day Pierre walked into my office he was the new guy he was so gorgeous and charming.† † Do I really have to hear about you and Pierre.† He says almost in disgust, am I digging myself a hole but I have to tell him everything. † Just listen to me no more lies, I never thought I would find love again it wasn't the love we shared but my life had to go on me and Pierre were happy the night before I saw you he proposed if I had known I was going to see you again I would have called everything off right then and there but I thought I was never going to see you again I thought you had moved on and made a new life of your own.† I was trying my best to make nick see that I didn't purposely try to hurt him. † I understood all that, I just can't understand why you lied cause I asked you if you had a boyfriend and you lied straight to my face, I actually remember seeing the ring on your finger and thinking nothing of it thinking that it was your right hand or something.† He looked so tiered and fed up. † Did you take the ring off?† he asks, I can't lie to him not now even as much as I'd like to I just can't. † Yes but again I can explain you asked me if I had a boyfriend so I took the ring off hoping you hadn't already noticed, I know you want to know why because I love you and wanted to see†¦Ã¢â‚¬  I can't get out the words and when I do they sound all wrong. † To see what?† he is starting to get annoyed â€Å"To see if we ever had a chance together.† I am nearly in tears again † Don't cry please.† He sounds concerned † How can I not cry I am trying to undo the mess I have done, I have said I am sorry I can't say anymore I have described the way I feel, but I now am asking you what you think!† I can't help but ask I know it sounds selfish but I am giving loads and getting nothing back this was it truth time when I had to know what my future with nick was going to be. † I said earlier that I still love you.† He seems kind of distance not to sure of what he is saying. † But can you forgive me nick I need to know.† I have to know I can't bare it; nick is the type of guy not to let you know what he is thinking even if I know him as well as I do. † I forgive you, but you have hurt me.† I nearly burst into tears with happiness, we both catch each others gaze and in those blue eyes my happiness is restored. Nick stands up he comes right up to me and wraps those warm and protective arms around me. ‘Ring, ring' nicks phone is ringing, I can't believe it who could it be, it is nearly half ten at night. † Who could that be?† I have to ask † I don't know.† ‘Ring, ring' † Aren't you going to answer it then.† Nick walks over and picks up his phone to see who is calling; to my surprise he switches his phone off without even answering it. † Who was it?† † Oh no-one, I have more important stuff here and now.† Nick takes me by the hand and sits me down on the sofa, I am expecting him to sit next to me, to my horror he gets down on one knee and produces this jewellery box, he opens it and in there is the most perfect ring in the world. † I know it isn't the size of Pierre's ring†¦Ã¢â‚¬  † No, no it is perfect.† † I think you know the question I am going to ask but I am going to ask it anyway, Sarah will you marry me.† I look down into those perfect blue eyes. † I think you know the answer, yes.† I shout it so loud, nick puts the ring on my finger, then jumps up and lifts me up spinning me around he starts to slow down just as he is putting me on the floor he leans in and kisses me a real kiss a nick kiss, my nick. I later discovered that nick had bought the ring in nice and had come for a job interview so he could live with me in nice. I can't wait to tell Lauren I am so excited, I walk back to Laurens it is such a clear and perfect night the stars are so bright and clear. † Lauren you will never guess what has happened!† I feel like I can't get the words out fast enough. † What?† she sounds confused and worried † Are you alright?† † I am the best, you know how I was going to nicks, well when I got there my phone rang and he opened the door and I was scrambling†¦Ã¢â‚¬  † So you and nick got back together then.† She sounds weird and not her usual self. † Not only that he asked me to marry him.† I have to scream † No way, oh my god I don't believe it!† she sounds so surprised † I think I am going to bed.† She says, what the hell I wanted to stay up most of the night planning it. † Oh what, don't you want to help me with ideas.† † No I am so tired, but we will talk in the morning.† She gives me a faded smile and goes off to bed. I can't possibly sleep now so I deicide to go back to nicks. I don't bother to buzz because someone is coming out of the building, as I reach out to knock on nicks door it opens and out walks Lauren in tears. † What the hell are you doing here and why are you crying.† I say confused. † Lauren wait I can explain†¦Ã¢â‚¬  nick walks out after Lauren but stops dead when he see's me. † Lauren what is the matter.† I look at nick for an answer but he is staring at the ground, what is going on? I want to know I thought she said she was going to bed. † Why don't you let nick explain, let nick explain everything.† Lauren runs off in tears. I have no idea what is going on † Nick what the hell is going on, why is Lauren crying, why was she even here?† I don't understand any of this. † We need to talk, lets go inside.† Nick walks into the flat I follow behind him, when I get into his flat there is a smashed glass on the floor. † What has happened let me clear it up.† I walk over to clear it up † Just leave it, I need to tell you something.† He sounds guilty and worried. † Nick what is going on, first Lauren comes out of your flat crying then there is a smashed glass on the floor and now you are looking guilty and asking to talk to Me.† am I being paranoid? † You might want to sit down I have to tell you something.† † What nick tell me now don't give me all this crap about sitting down tell me.† † Lauren was crying because she didn't want you and me to get married.† † What, why?† I don't understand. † Because she loves me.† I don't believe it he doesn't look like he is lying I look into his eyes he is telling the truth nick never lies not to me. Suddenly it all makes sense when nick walked into the cafà ¯Ã‚ ¿Ã‚ ½ this morning how Lauren walked out and why she didn't want to talk about my wedding plans. † Why would she be in love with you?† I can't believe I am asking this and I try to not to sound like I want to know but the question has to be asked. † Because, we had a thing!† † What do you mean a thing?† he better not be saying what I think he is saying. † Me and Lauren together.† † You're not giving me enough information, what the hell are you trying to say here?† I can't believe what he is trying to tell me. † Me and Lauren we had a thing together, right after you left.† † I don't believe what you are saying, how long for?† I feel like I want to scream. Nick whispers something but I can't quite here him. † Don't whisper I need to hear this.† † Two years the same time as you and Pierre were together.† † Pierre you didn't even know, whereas my best friend.† † You slept with my best friend, don't even try to get out of it and you leave me standing on the prom in nice crying my eyes out because I got engaged while you are sleeping with my best friend who I have known and trusted for over ten years.† I am nearly in tears and I feel pathetic but I am angry, angry at being so stupid not to see it and angry at nick for making me feel bad and guilty when he has been doing exactly the same but worse. † I'm sorry, I can explain give me a chance like I gave you a chance earlier.† He sounds desperate and upset. I look over to him he has tears in those big blue eyes he stands up and walks over to me. † You had gone and Lauren understood what I was going through so we became friends and one night we got really really drunk and one thing led to another†¦Ã¢â‚¬  â€Å"So you slept together at least me and Pierre were in a stable relationship.† I am so mad I am crying in anger. Nick reaches out to wipe my tears away but I push his hand away. † Don't touch me, how could you and you blamed me for getting engaged and you, you were†¦Ã¢â‚¬  I can't even say the words; suddenly a thought comes into my head. † Wait a minute when I spoke to Lauren on the phone last night on the plane she said that she had seen you in the last twenty four hours that means you slept with Lauren after you had seen me didn't you.† I am really crying now. † Didn't you!!!† I scream at him he looks up with tears in his eyes and nods his head. † You bastard.† I run over to him and hit him again and again I am like those sad and depressed woman in the movies but I can't help it nick is holding me down and trying to hug me. † Get off me.† I am crying so so much, I can smell nick his gorgeous smell, nick is still trying to hug me I give up we just stand there holding each other for what seems like hours after a while nick speaks. â€Å"Let me explain just give me that much of a chance.† He sounds like he is crying I look up to see that he is, I nod and sit down on the sofa to listen I don't want to hear this but I want to know I have to know. † You had just gone and Lauren was there the first time we slept together we were drunk, then it became a regular thing.† I look away as tears spill out my eyes I can't take it but I've got to know, nick lifts my head up and looks me right in the eyes, he is nearly crying as well. † I knew I couldn't have you, so Lauren was the closest thing to you, what me and Lauren had was like a drop in the ocean compared to us, Lauren was growing more and more attached but all I wanted was you, before I knew it me and Lauren had been doing it for two years and she just wasn't you so I decided to come and get you when I got there you were with Pierre.† He gets up and walks into the kitchen, I follow him when I get into the kitchen he has his back to me I swear he just wiped a tear away from his eye he turns to me and looks into my eyes. † Sarah I love you.† † But can I forgive you?† † That is up to you, what me and Lauren did is horrible and I will never forgive myself.† † I don't know I have to think this through until then I think you should have this.† I slide off mine and nicks engagement ring I reach out to give it to him but he refuses to take it so I put it on the granite worktop and leave. Where should I go I can't go to Laurens I defiantly can't go to nicks. ‘Knock knock' it is taking ages for them to answer after what seems like hours later the door opens. † Mum!† I burst into tears † Sarah what has happened come in what has happened.† So I tell her everything right from the start the two engagement rings, Pierre, nice, Lauren and nick. By the time my story has finished it is beginning to get light. † What should I do mum I don't know what to do.† † First you should get some sleep then we will talk about it.† She smiles at me. It is weird sleeping in my old room so many times I cried myself to sleep in this bed, when dad left, when granddad died, when I failed my GCSE's, the night before I left for nice and left nick behind. I get up to the smell of home when I go downstairs mum is sitting in her usual spot I remember as I child whenever she had to think something through she would sit their and no one was allowed to disturb her for hours. † Hey how did you sleep?† She pats the spot next to her I go and sit with her. † Not well, I kept thinking about nick and how he is, I did try to stop thinking about him but he just kept coming back into my mind.† â€Å"I know sweetie it is horrible.† † What should I do mum?† † My advice is, Lauren is the main one to blame I am not saying nick is innocent in all this but he was looking for a replacement of you, whereas Lauren knew full well what she was doing and lied to you every time she spoke to you.† † Still I don't know what to do.† † Go and talk to nick and if you love him give it one last try I am not saying it will be easy.† So I took mums advice. I press the buzzer outside nicks flat, so many things are running through my head I don't know what is going to happen I don't even know weather to forgive him or weather I can forgive him. † Hello† † It's me, can I talk to you.† He buzzes me in without saying another word, when the lift doors open he is standing by his door wearing boxers and a t-shirt. † I was asleep I wasn't expecting you to come back.† He looks really tiered and upset I can't look him straight in the eyes just yet. † You better come in.† he walks in leaving the door open behind him when I come into the flat I find him in his bedroom sitting on the end of the bed, he looks up at me † I didn't get much sleep after you left I obviously feel asleep, how have you been?† he looks concerned † I didn't sleep much every time I tried to sleep I just kept thinking about you.† I look at nick and ask myself how can I still love him after what he is done to me and if I was being honest with myself I don't actually know the answer. † Can I ask you one thing?† I say curiously † Anything but are you sure you want to hear it?† † It isn't about you and Lauren.† I say † Ok then what is it?† he looked surprised did he want me to ask about him and Lauren or was their more he hadn't told me, that he had left out hoping I wouldn't know maybe I was just being paranoid it was hard to tell this whole lie was so unexpected. † If you were sleeping with Lauren†¦Ã¢â‚¬  nick looks away ashamed † When you came to nice and found out about me and Pierre how come you were so mean to me when you were doing the same with Lauren?† it is a harsh question but it has to be asked. † Because you obviously had strong feelings for Pierre, I don't know maybe the thought of you even liking someone else also maybe the fact that you lied to me.† He sounds annoyed at that. How can he be annoyed at me I didn't sleep his best friend did I? † Why are you getting annoyed at me for lying.† I sound like a spoilt child â€Å"I don't know?† † Well I suggest you find out, you're the one who told me after I agreed to marry you.† † You're the one who let me find out when your fiancà ¯Ã‚ ¿Ã‚ ½ turned up when I was topless just about to kiss you.† Nick stands up, I can't believe him. † Oh that is low even for someone that sleeps with my best friend when he says he was madly in love with me.† I say spitefully † Don't you dare for a second say I wasn't in love with you.† † So why didn't you come and get me?† † I did.† † What three years later, three years to late.† I am shouting now thank god it is the middle of the day and not the night. † What did you expect me to come after you?† † Yes.† I say almost in a whisper, Nicks face instantly changes † What?† † Yes, I wanted you to come and get me but you never showed up.† Nick comes closer to me † I never knew.† † You didn't have to know were weren't supposed to know.† I turn away from nick, I have come here to try and sort things out and end up saying things that were just stupid thoughts ages ago and they don't even help now. I can't think of anything to say and nick is just looking at me, I seriously have no idea what to do I want to tell him so much I love him but I just can't not now. I look at nick hard to see what he is thinking looking into his eyes I just can't work it out. Suddenly I thought crosses my mind. † I need to go.† † What, why I thought we need to talk.† Does he think this is it. † I have to speak to Lauren see what she has to say and pick up my stuff.† † Why are you going, are you coming back.† † I don't know, I just have to talk to her to see what she has to say about all of this.† I leave the flat as I am pressing the bottom for the lift door to close nick suddenly comes out of his flat and holds the lift door open. † Promise you will come back and talk to me.† He says I don't know what to say I have to hear Laurens side of the story before I make any decisions. † Even if you can't forgive me at least come and say goodbye.† I nod and nick lets go of the lift door I look at him as the door closes I look at his light brown ruffled hair, his perfectly tanned skin, his strong hands, and those perfect sea blue eyes. I really don't want to see or hear Laurens side of the story but it has to be done; I suppose I owe it to our friendship or something like that. I don't bother to knock or buzz because being one of her oldest friends I have a key it is, seeing as it is a Sunday she is sure to be in. when I walk in she turns around and smiles † Sarah where have you been did you stop over at nicks.† She winks at me, Why is she acting normal when she knows what is going on. † Isn't that more your style!† I know I sound like a fifteen year old but before I can stop myself I have said it. Lauren sighs † So he told you† † Well what did you expect him to do not tell me?† † Oh I don't know, I didn't expect you to even come after him.† † What you knew.† † Of course, all of a sudden I was dumped for you.† now she sounds like a fifthteen year old † Lauren you can try to match you and nick to me and nick but as nick said your relationship was like a drop in the ocean compared to ours. So don't you dare compare, I am here for one thing only and that is to hear your pathetic excuse of a side of the story.† I have to stay strong and not cry I try to remember revenge is a dish best served cold, cold like Laurens heart has to be. † Sarah don't be like this.† She sounds desperate † So come on then I want to get this over with lets here it from start to finish the whole feeble excuse for an affair.† â€Å"Sarah don't be like this.† † Why not.† I shout at her I hate being like this but I am so mad at her. â€Å"Ok, I'll tell you just after you left nick was really upset so I went round to cheer him up and we got really really drunk and ended up in bed together and from then it become a regular thing.† She looks away ashamed of herself exactly like Nick. † So what is your excuse then nick had a reasonable one.† I ask impatiently † What I just told you about me and nick.† † No you told me what happened I want an excuse for sleeping with my ex boyfriend when you knew I still liked him.† I know I am being really unfair on her but she deserves it. † You knew I always liked nick I knew he was just using me because he couldn't have you.† † Is that it.† I say in disgust † Is that your excuse cause if it was I wasn't buying it.† I shake my head at her and walk into my room get my stuff and go to leave as I am getting to the door Lauren runs after me. † You left nick it was over can't you let someone else have him I shouldn't be ashamed of what we had or still have.† † What do you mean still have?† † He told me he loved me.† She says looking pleased with herself, I look at her with tears in my eyes. † How could you Lauren I thought you were my best friend and your just a desperate †¦Ã¢â‚¬  I stop myself † Go on Sarah it's not like you to not finish saying what you like.† Lauren says sneering at me. † I wouldn't want to waste my breath.† I walk out leaving her standing there. When I am outside Laurens I am trying to get a taxi as I begin to give up and start walking a taxi slows down inside it is nick he opens the window and tells me to get in. † Where to then?† The taxi driver asks, I look at nick for an answer † Just drive us around for a while we need to have a talk without one of us running away.† The taxi driver grunts a bit before agreeing and we start to drive nick leans over and closes the hatch. † Nick what are you doing here?† I ask † I never trusted Lauren, I had to come and get you so she doesn't feed you a pack of lies.† I say nothing and just stay silent † Well come on then tell me what she said I know she has said something.† How can he tell that by just looking at me. I can't stand this I need more time to think so I reach over and open the hatch and tell the taxi driver to stop. † She said you loved her.† I say as I scramble out of the taxi with my bags I begin to walk off all I can hear is Nick shouting my name. â€Å"Sarah wait.† He shouts from somewhere behind me † Just leave me alone!† I shout back people are stating to stare but I don't care. Nick is right behind me when he catches up with me he stops me and spins me round so I am facing him I didn't realise he was so close to me he is right behind me. † I don't love Lauren I never have I like her but I would never love her.† † So why did you tell her that you did?† I look up at nick he is not going to reply so I carry on talking. † I can take the fact that you have been sleeping with her for the past two years but telling her you love her when you say you love me, I am sick of this Nick all the lies and dirty little secrets.† I look across the street at all the people walking in and out of the shops. † Did you tell Pierre you love him?† nick asks † Of course I did.† I reply, this is it right here me and nick standing in the middle of a busy London street this is when I realise the future. † It looks like we are both in love.† I say to nick, he begins to smile I raise my hand for a taxi † But it looks like we are in love with the wrong people.† I say as tears spill out of my eyes I reach up and kiss nick on the head † Goodbye nick.† I get in the taxi † Heathrow airport please.† I can hardly see nick through tears † Sarah don't do this I love you.† Nick shouts from the pavement I can't bear to look at nick † Just drive please,† I say my voice wobbling cause I am crying so much. This has to be the hardest thing to do; all I can see is nicks face when I got in the taxi the way he looked at me. I am sitting at gate waiting to be called wondering if I am doing the right thing. † Could people sitting in business class please come to the desk with your boarding cards and passports ready.† The airhostess was saying into the microphone this was it all over again leaving nick but this time it felt a hundred times worse. I have to do this I am strong enough to do this I know I am. So why am I still sitting here? I get up and walk over to the airhostess giving her my boarding pass and passport, she smiles brightly at me all I can manage is a brief smile I feel so rude but I am not in the mood to be polite. She hands my passport back and lets me through to go down to plane my stilettos are killing me and all I want to do is kick them off and run, run into nicks arms and forget all my troubles but I just can't not now not ever again. As I reach the aeroplane I am almost in tears again luckily no one has noticed, I get on to the plane and into my seat all I can think about is nick nothing else everything around me seems to remind me of nick like the guy sitting next to me got out his briefcase and I happened to notice his card that clearly explained that he was a lawyer like nick and the lady in front of me asking for a martin without the olive just like nick would ask, I keep telling myself I am being paranoid. After what feels like days I am home. I open all the windows in my flat to let out all the heat it is nearly midnight and still boiling, I try to get some sleep but just can't I keep thinking about nick and wondering what he is doing. I decide that I am not going to sleep at all and end up watching dirty dancing the best romantic film if only love could really be that simple even though her dad doesn't like them together he accepts it in the end and they dirty dance dance together. I wouldn't normally cry at the end but after everything that has happened I can't help but cry. I end up falling asleep in front of the TV all I can see in my dreams is nick screaming my name but none one can hear him I wake up to the my phone ringing no wait not the phone the door bell I look up at the clock it is 3.30 who on earth could it be. I stagger to the door still half asleep yawning I open the door and standing in a white checked shirt and jeans is nick. I can't speak I don't know what to say I look around for a conversation starter and end up catching sight of myself in a mirror I look terrible I am wearing and oversized t-shirt and bed socks my hair is all messed up. I look up at nick and he is just looking into my eyes. † I have been shouting your name for ages haven't you heard me?† he says in a gentle voice. † I was asleep, sorry.† Why am I apologising he shouldn't be here. † Nick why are you here?† I ask † Because I am not going to let it end like this.† Nick walks into my apartment and sits down on the sofa, I close the door behind him and end up sitting on my dinning room table cause my apartment is open plan you don't have to sit on one particular chair I can sit anywhere. † Do you want anything to drink?† I ask politely † No, I want you.† I have no idea how to reply to that so I just end up sitting their not being able to think of anything to say luckily I don't have to say anything. † I know you don't want it to end like this, and I am not going to let it end like this.† † How do you know what I want?† I ask getting angry â€Å"Because I love you and if you love someone you know every little thing about them.† † Like what?† I ask â€Å"Like the way they take their coffee, their shoe size, what their favourite movie is or when they are lying or unsure about something.† † So do you know all of that?† I challenge him † You don't like coffee or tea, your shoe size is 6 which you hate cause you think it is to big, your favourite movie is dirty dancing probably cause of Patrick Swayze and I do know when you are lying cause I knew the minuet after you left that you were lying.† I get out and walk on to the balcony I don't know what to say? By this time nick has followed me. † I love this view.† Nicks say looking out on to the sea and the moon. † You have seen it before.† † True but I didn't pay much attention to it last time all of my attention was you, it looks like you have done really well for yourself.† † Well running a billion euro cosmetic company does have its upsides.† I laugh nicks says nothing and just smiles

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